Siblings

Jesus once told a story about a family. 

A man had two sons and the younger one said ‘Father, give me my share of the estate’.

This man is impatient for his share of the inheritance so that he can have more independence and money. He is greedy, rude and impatient but more than that, he is wishing his Father dead. Inheritance worked in their culture the same way that ours does today. Inheritance is something that a person would usually receive when someone has died. By asking for his share of the estate for nothing in particular, the son is asking for the lump sum he would receive when his Father had died. The younger son is as good as declaring that he doesn't care if his Father is dead or alive.

And ‘So the Father divided his property between his two sons’

We can only guess as to why this is. The Father could have said no and refused, but he didn’t. Maybe he was hoping that if he was kind his son would stay around. Maybe it was shock at the insult so he blindly did what his son asked anyway. Maybe it was because he was cross about it, but as a fair man he decided to give his son the money, hoping that he would go away and he would never see the rude boy again! But I am more inclined to think that it was because, hurt as he was, he wanted to give his son the chance to do some good.

But shortly after, the younger son gathered together all the money he had and set off for a distant land. As sad as it was for the Father to hear that the son wanted his share of the inheritance, it must have been just as hard, if not harder for him to watch his son leave and go far away.

When the son arrived, we hear that he ‘squandered his wealth in wild living’. The money wasn’t spent doing good, in a wise investment or to help anyone else at all. It was wasted on things that he didn’t need, but he simply wanted. 

But it didn’t last. When there was a famine in the land, he had spent all of his money and so had nothing for food. He went and found himself a job feeding pigs in a field. He was so hungry that he would have even eaten the leftovers that the pigs were fed. Unlike his Father who gave him exactly what he asked for, the people in that land showed him no kindness and gave him nothing to eat.

This was a pretty dire situation for the son to be in. When he was at home, he was part pf a wealthy family who could give him so much money when he demanded it. He then went and lived exactly as he chose, presumably eating what he wanted, whenever and wherever he liked. 

He is now starving, feeding animals whose food is more nutritious than anything he can get his hands on.

Finally, he came to his senses and he decided to go home and work as one of his father’s hired hands, because he knew that they were treated better than he was being treated in the foreign land. As he is heading home, he prepares a speech to say to his Father when he sees him:

‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men’.

It’s a brave move for him to decide to go home. He must know the hurt he has caused his father and the wrong that he has done. Yet, I think, sometimes we have to hit rock bottom, like the younger son does, before we can decide to return home. We have to fall to the very bottom of the pit before we can work out a strategy to climb our way out.

But it takes only a little effort on the youngest son’s part for the story to turn around.

Jesus said ’But while he was still a long way off, his Father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around his neck and kissed him’

A man who is important with a lot of land loses all sense of decorum, and runs, tunic flying, dust rising, sweat spraying, to meet his son who has caused him so much pain!

Initially, the son was impatient for his Father’s fortune. But now it is the Father’s turn to be impatient. Impatiently, he sees him coming in the distance. Impatiently, he runs to meet him. Impatiently, he embraces and kisses him.

Like I said, this is a story about a family, about people. It’s about real life, about mistakes, about coming home and about a love that knows no limits.

The younger son begins the speech that he has prepared but he doesn’t even make it to the end of it before his Dad interrupts and announces that they are going to have a party! Father tells the servants to bring a fine robe, put a ring on his finger, give him some shoes, and kill the plump calf for a party! He instantly reinstates him and lifts him out of his poverty.

This is generosity. This is forgiveness. And this is grace.

In the story, we hear nothing else from the younger son from that moment on. And I don’t think that is an accident. His well-rehearsed speech for his Father wasn’t even given because his Father was in too much of a hurry to welcome him home and to rejoice that he was found. 

It’s astounding, breath-taking, outrageous love that would leave anyone speechless! So the prodigal son has no more speech.  

But the story is not over yet. Next we hear off another member of this family for the first time. Next we hear off the elder pf the two sons. The elder son comes back from working in the field and is greeted by the sounds of a huge party! He is not best impressed. All he sees is a big fuss being made about something unexpectedly, without him being told or invited. In the end, he has to ask a servant what all the fuss is about. The servant informal him that his brother has come home!

Now this is the moment for the elder brothers grace. It is the moment for him to be joyous. It is the moment for him to look at what his father has done and behave likewise. But he fails. The elder brother fails to see this in the gracious and joyful way that his Father did. This time, the elder brother messes up. He refuses to go into the party and throws a strop.

Now, if you’re comparing like for like, the younger brother did behave worse. It was the younger brother who wished his father dead, was greedy, wasteful and selfish. But that doesn’t mean that the elder brother’s behaviour should simply be shrugged off.

The elder brother has a conversation with his father about the injustice of the situation. The Father killed the fatted calf for the younger son but has never even given a goat for the elder brother to share with his friends. The elder brother is quick to point this out and is jealous about the way that the younger brother is being treated.

This, is no life changing, heart breaking, ‘as good as dead’ situation that the younger brother inflicted on his Father, but it still isn’t great. Rather than a crash, bang, wallop kind of sin, this is low level bitterness that is more about general attitude. As a response, the Father says; My son, you were always here with me and everything i have is yours. But your brother who we assumed was dead is home and we had to celebrate! He was lost, and now he is found’. The father has to show grace to both of his sons. One receives it, and the other needs a little more help in understanding it.

When I preach, I aim to preach to myself as much as everyone in the room, and believe me, this is especially true today.

Over the course of my life, I can look back and identify with all three of the characters that we have looks at today. There have been times when I have been lost, made the smallest step towards home and was met so fiercely by God’s love that it is almost impossible to comprehend. I have also, exceptionally rarely, been more like the Father. As a human, I have managed to access some of the Father’s love and show grace and hospitality to others when I should have been too hurt to do that. But more often, I think, I am the elder son who just needs a bit of an attitude adjustment. My response is not what it ought to be. I can be selfish, jealous and bitter.

Whichever way I read this text I get a bit of a slap in the face. I go my own way. I come home too late. I’m too slow to accept. Or I just simply don’t understand forgiveness and love. If I have any one main reflection, it’s this. Who are you in that text? Where are you dwelling at the moment? What behaviour do you identify with? And what can you see in others?

Call me pessimistic, but as much as we would like to, I don’t think many of us spend 24/7 in the state of the Father. I spend most of my time swinging between the attitude of the two sons, if I’m honest. But, as the story tells us, there is good news! If we are far away, the Father will meet us and welcome us home, arms open wide! Just as in this story,there is to be huge rejoicing when we are found! And if we are the elder son, faithfully doing our bit with a bit of a grump inside us then there is even more good news still! There is help, guidance and explanation from the Father when we don’t understand.

While writing this I have noticed the silences in the story. Like I said, the Father gives his speech and we hear no more from the Prodigal Son. But it happens again. The Father explains to the elder son why he has behaved in this way and there is more silence. We don’t hear off either of the brothers again.

So just as I begin to come to a close, let me offer you this scene.

All day long the hot sun has been beating down. All day long I have been working this soil. As the sun sets, I clearly have a head ache. I can hear a gentle thud, thud, thud, as I often do when I get a migraine. The 'thud, thud, thud' could be coming from the house, but it can’t be. It’s a flipping Tuesday night and that’s not a night for parties! It’s got to be my head. 

Right, enough is enough, I’m going back to the house. My word, that thumping is getting louder! My head must be really bad, I’m going get home, have a quiet bath and then go straight to bed. 

I’m exhausted. Hang on. That sound is coming from the house. What in the world is going on?! Why can’t a woman get some peace! I can’t believe this! Dad can’t know about this party, or he’d go berserk! It must be that flipping new cleaner, he’s always causing trouble and now he’s using our house for a great big party!

'Oy! You, what’s going on here?! You what? My sister is back? And Dad killed Billy the calf?! How dare he?! The pain she put us all through and he responds in this way?! That’s just enforcing bad behaviour that is. And Billy was my favourite!'

'Right. Dad! Dad! What on earth are you doing? Giving her a heroes welcome, are you? Killing Billy for a great big massive Tuesday night party, are you? Treating her like a Princess are y–'

Dad cuts me off. He would never do this for me. But maybe he doesn’t need to. I’ve been here all along, watching the pain. Watching him and Mum worry. But Dad’s right. She's home. Don’t tell anyone, but I cried myself to sleep for a month when she went off, especially after all the painful things she said. I’m angry because she doesn’t know how it feels. Mum and Dad must be angry too. But they allowed their love to be bigger.

Dad has quietly and calmly put me in my place. He has helped me understand. I’m going to go into the party now. I’m going to go and see my little sister. It’s been hard here, but she doesn’t know that. I’m going to go and hug her right now! And she can flipping well deal with my sweaty, mucky body embracing hers after a day in the field!

We don’t know what happened at the end of the story- just that the Father addressed what needed addressing in each of his children. There is always work to be done on ourselves. Improvements can always be made. But that is why we have the Father to guide us. He will show us what we most need, if we first come home, and then we let him.

Amen.